February 3rd, 2023

H2 Oil Painting Evokes Feelings of Unfairness Following Hype

The communal fascination with the recently completed H2 bathroom oil painting has raised dopamine levels of Berkeley High students to an all time high. BHS students are experiencing withdrawals and frankly feel edged in that they are yet to experience the Berkeley High H2 bathroom modeled by the LEGO brick system.

"Back it up, Blazer."

An article titled "Oil Painting of H2 Bathroom Sparks Controversy", published in Blazer No. 3, describes the mysterious appearance of a Renaissance style oil painting which portrays a popular Berkeley High girl's bathroom. After the anonymous painter went on to receive the first ever Leonardo DiCaprio Painter's Prize, the Berkeley High girls' H2 bathroom has become a bustling destination for tourists of all backgrounds, races, genders, shapes, and sizes, and textures. Berkeley High's precious painting has also managed to push the University of California, Berkeley to the number one spot on the national public university ranking (search it up on Google, it's true!). In hopes of overtaking the #1 spot, UCLA recently commissioned all of their money that was previously designated for scholarships to the creation of a life sized 3D model of the Berkeley High H2 bathroom to display at the "Getty"

Naturally, the world is sitting cross legged, waiting for LEGO's rendition of our beloved washroom. As the saying goes, "when an oil painting appears, the LEGO theme is near,". The lack of a release from LEGO has caused distress. The BHS Health Center located in H105, an excellent resource for students needing therapeutic treatment, reports that visits are at an all-time high. "It's unfair and unjust to the students for LEGO to not have their own display of the bathroom," one student declared. "It's never going to happen" another student moped as we offered him a handkerchief to wipe his tears. "We as a community need to keep our expectations low, because we are most likely being let down by the Danes once again." "LEGO, speak up!" exclaimed vice principal Harrison Blatt.