Danish toy company LEGO has been keeping us in the dark about their possible plans to bring our restrooms to life in the iconic brick built medium. Naturally this has caused strife and sorrow in our students and staff. It's almost impossible to walk down the corridors of Berkeley High without hearing murmurs of "Where's the LEGO set?", "Are we ever gonna get it?", and "F*ck those Danishes!". But lo and behold, this period of darkness seems to finally be coming to an end. At last, LEGO has come forth with their own take of a Berkeley High restroom. (see cover) Most people are referring to the set as the LEGO Lavatory however, you may also hear it referred to as the Brick Bathroom or the Plastic Poophouse. Everybody is relieved, so much so that many students are reporting that they are finally breathing properly, which is causing grades in AP Blinker classes to skyrocket. Surprisingly, and to some student's dismay, LEGO's adaptation of the Berkeley High bathroom takes a more masculine approach by being modeled after the C2 boys' bathroom, in an effort to "diversify Berkeley High replicas to show love to 'the boys'". The model utilizes many unique bricks in creative ways, such as the chicken leg in the urinal, which represents 2019's famous "Poultry in the Potty" incident. This deep cut nostalgic reference is fan service for the biggest Berkeley High heads. While these niche callbacks are bringing enthusiasts joy, others feel let down by the product. A 2 by 1 tile is being used to represent an electronic nicotine device produced by the company Juul. Many have called LEGO out for being outdated. "No one rips Juuls anymore. It's 2023 for god's sake! If you ain't got an elf bar, you've fell far, and that's flat out embarrassing." Unfortunately snarky provocative behavior from Berkeley High scholars and top faculty members towards the LEGO Group has led them to consider recalling the set. Some of them have even taken this to Twitter. "Before the oil painting, LEGO didn't give us any attention. No hate, it's just funny to me how they switched up for the motion." tweeted user @user7372889289. The official LEGO account shot back, "Are you the motion police or something?". Principal Juan Raygoza replied "ratio", which accumulated some likes.
February 16th, 2023