February 3rd, 2023

Muscle Cells Replacing Brain Cells: An Interview With a BHS Gym Bro

The gym has perennially served as a temple of worship for some, and seems to be gaining traction again at Berkeley High. While some go to fulfill PE credits, or just to pass time after school, other’s visions are crystal clear: to get ripped. Outside BHS’s local gym, colloquially referred to as “The Y”, we happened across a gym bro using their hands to shovel protein powder into their unhinged gullet like a starved animal, trailed by builder bar wrappers. They have chosen to remain anonymous. The gray hoodie and sweatpants masked most of their physique, but it was easy to tell they had passed many a cold morning sculpting their ideal form in the gym. Though they told us that they had been working out nearly every day for the better part of three years, they harbored no purist ideals. Any path to the top is valid in their eyes, as “The pump is a lifestyle regardless of if you[‘re] pumping weights or steroids.” When asked to elaborate, they said “To quote Socrates, ‘It is a disgrace for a [person] to grow without seeing the beauty and strength of which [their] body is capable.’” They then gazed at their forearms, as a proud parent would at their child’s first Little League game, and lovingly smiled. On questioning about the gym’s relation to Berkeley High, they said, “Saying you go to the gym is more popular than before, but actually working out and eating well is at an all time low.” According to them, roughly fifty percent of people who go to the gym are just there to hang out with friends. For them, the gym has been a healthy outlet that seems to have bled positively into other parts of their life. They state being “healthier and more motivated,” as well as becoming “an innate narcissist,” amongst the benefits. When asked if it was to strengthen their college applications, they softly repeated “strengthen,” as their eyes began to look through me and a slight smile, the proud one again, crept onto their face. They returned to their forearms, and we thus decided that there was no point continuing. We thanked them for the interview, but I cannot be certain they registered the words, or that they even knew where they were anymore. Maybe it’s a good thing that fifty percent of you are slackers.