8 months ago, the BHS community was taken by storm when a young bloke showed up on the first day of the 2021-2022 school year. Standing at a ravishing 5'10", Magnus Wolf can be recognized by his buttery smooth skin, remarkable posture, and cutesy toothy grin. Quite possibly the most recognizable trait of the lad would be his accent, or more recently, the lack thereof. Recent reports indicate that Magnus has been failing to under-pronounce his R's and has been leaning more into his soft A's with overall pronunciation patterns bearing more and more resemblance to those of Americans.
The first case of this offense occurred nowhere other than the prevalent C2 boys' bathroom. Allow me to set the scene. The so-called "British Magnus" was on the phone with his mate when he was supposedly "caught lackin" by one of his peers. That's when the peer came to the Blazer team, to get to the bottom of this modulation mystery. The peer reported that he overheard an "indisputably American voice" containing "little to no received pronunciation" and "almost a hint of a southern twang". This information begs the question: is Magnus faking the accent? Has this been a ploy to climb the social ladder all along? One student, who prefers to remain anonymous, had this to say, "People think I'm British, but I'm actually not. I moved here from Castro Valley last year, but don't tell anyone I said this." We reassuringly responded, "Anonymity is one of the pillars of ethical journalism here at The Blazer. Don't worry, Anonymous Student, your identity is safe with us." He continued, as tears began to run down his face, "It's always Magnus this, Magnus that, but I'm really starting to miss people calling me by my real name, Palmer," said the anonymous student. An anonymous teacher had this to say "I'm not even OVO, but I keep me a drake".
No more than a few days later, Blazer Staff Detectives spotted Magnus on the prairie with a banjo slung over his shoulder scarfing down chicken pot pie while proudly waving an American flag. We will keep you updated with new findings.