May 25th, 2023

Unusual O'Dowd Custodian Welcomes Dare Nighters

Bishop O'Dowd High School is a catholic, co-educational, college preparatory school in Oakland, California. Primarily referred to simply as "O'Dowd", the school is known for its long history of losses against the far superior Berkeley High School. O'Dowd was recently name-dropped in Berkeley High's 2023 dare night spreadsheet. This year, teams of students participating in the yearly tradition of dare night had the option to "Shid on O'Dowd campus" for 20 points. These points, of course, would add to a team's score, which is crucial, as the team with the highest score would then win the $550 prize pool. Along with the dare to "Spray paint BHS 23 on the campanile", going number 2 on O'Dowd campus fits into one of the more illegal dare categories of property damage and vandalism. To learn more about such a criminal dare, we interviewed renowned O' Dowd janitor Mr. Proonhselpoog.

While his job description may have included mundane tasks like sweeping floors and unclogging toilets, we discovered that Mr. Proonhselpoog, or "Proon", had a peculiar hobby that set him apart from his fellow custodial brethren. "I love to collect their daring defecations. I welcome the tradition, I would never pass up an opportunity to add to my lucky nugget collection." Upon Friday the 19th's final bell, an army of nuke droppers were unleashed upon O'Dowd. Little did they know that their "brown little landmines" would become Mr. Proonhselpoog's most cherished treasure. "I can't just get enough of their evil excrement" said Proon, "I urge any students participating in future dare nights to make like Snoop Dogg, and drop it like it's hot on my campus. Once my crap collection is completed, I will make an offering to the dung deities."