The world renowned publisher, colloquially referred to as The Blazer, has maintained a strong reputation for delivering the truth to its loyal readers. Be it in the form of exposé pieces on Brits turning southern, or uncovering the dark underbelly of restroom artwork, The Blazer takes pride in its trustworthy status. So much so that in recent issues, the expression "They don't miss" has become synonymous with their works, and can be found proliferating their social media posts. That said, among the core pillars that uphold the beacon of truth that is The Blazer, lies a small yet noticeable flaw: the crosswords.
Despite its unwavering consistency across all of its publications, its most recent edition has left some fans questioning their devotion to the publisher. "How the fuck do they keep messing this shit up? It's not even that hard!" They're so poorly made they make Nick McGlashan look like a lexicographer!" exclaimed a frustrated (and contemporaily anonymous) reader. With some coercion (a free C2 boys bathroom LEGO set) the reader then admitted that they in fact had never created a crossword puzzle themself, and that they "couldn't even imagine trying." After making a fool of themselves, they left in shame, as they should. While the claims expressed above may be utterly misled and a sign of a Jacket endorser, the sentiment is not lost. Bubbling around campus, a question floats from student to student, Goopleshnoorp to Theodoor: "What is a Blazer crossword?"
In response to the schoolwide query, the crossword department of The Blazer has come out with a formal statement. "We seek not to perpetuate the norm, nor to uphold the systems that have traditionally deprived such a timeless format of its desired fluidity. As such, any perceived 'missing' or 'vague' clues, as well as 'blank' or 'unblackened' tiles are intentional. For we approach crosswords not with the confined mindset so callously laid out by those close-minded enough to publicly belittle us, but with a mindset of untethered liberty and commentary. In closing, should you ridicule our craft, know that it is quite likely that you yourself do not grasp the profound constructions of the satire and critique we bring forth. Simply put, it went over your head."