April 14th, 2023

Your Friends' Parents & College

BHS seniors thought the hardest part of college admissions was over, but they couldn't have been more wrong. Watching your plans for the future get thrown into a burning trash can with rejections isn't easy, and your friends' parents can't wait to add fuel to it. Talking with adults about college can be perilous, so here are some possible responses to these self-involved Berkeley parents.

Weasel your way out of the question. You can bend the truth a little to try to escape the pain of all your waitlists. Example: You're crying in your car at the Lawrence Hall of Science parking lot when out of nowhere, your dad's best friend shows up. "So, have you heard back from any schools yet?" he asks, his beady eyes scanning for any signs of weakness. "I haven't heard back from everywhere yet," you can say defiantly, even though it's well into April at this point. Doesn't matter, it gets them to stop prodding.

Trash talk their kid. A bit of a petty solution, but definitely a simple and ego-solidifying one. Example: You run into your friend Jacob's mom at Trader Joe's. You didn't get into any of your top choices, while her son did. "I'm so happy Jacob got into UC Santa Barbara, you know these admissions are such a lottery!" A combative reply would be, "Yea, it is shocking, considering his brain is probably fried from his crazy weed habits! I've even heard he does cocaine... This will surely get her sweating in her "Proud UCSB Mom" hoodie, worrying that her precious little one might not be the angel she's seen him as for 18 years.

Just straight up lie. When you're at the end of your rope, a bold-faced lie is sometimes all that you can muster. Example: One of your teammates' parents starts talking to you at the sports banquet. They say the usual, "Where are you thinking about going for college? We heard USC was your top choice." "Oh, I got in there, and Harvard and all those silly places, but I'm thinking of going to a California state university. they're like, more progressive." Now you've impressed them with your academics and your exceptional morals. Who cares if it comes back to bite you in the ass later, it's USC's loss that you didn't get in.